NED’s World

At the airport waiting for my flight to leave, it’s 23.35 and I am knackered.

Nothing to do at Perth domestic, except have a beer and read Bill Bryson’s ‘A Walk in the Woods’; not a bad way to kill time I suppose.

My flight is leaving in 70 mins; boards in 40 mins.

I am amused as I was following a grey haired woman through customs; when asked to stop and be checked over by the explosives swab on a stick she refused. I was waiting for the arm response uni, a foot on her throat and assassination style a la Jul 2007 in London, but sadly not! Give me the gun and I will still do it now!

Anyway, beer is a calling and this keyboard is shocking

All I can say is that I am about 6-7 hours from seeing Wheeze for the 1st time in 8 months and don’t have work for a month.

Watch this space and I should keep you posted on my trip. Can’t wait to see Sydney (the city, not am Aussie guy)

Ok, I am going to admit it, I am a fuckwit! A little harsh you may say (or might agree wholeheartedly)

Why am I a fuckwit? I am a fuckwit because I have managed to lose my wallet, it fell out of my bag in a cab.

I have lost my bank card; my 2 credit cards, WA driving licence, medicare card, HBF health insurance card, some Singaporian dollars, and my blood donor card from the UK.

What is more annoying is that I am going on holiday next week and need my licence, luckily I can drive on my UK one instead.

So, I admit it: I am a fuckwit and sit here with my pants on my head

It’s the 2nd anniversary of the day we buried my Nan.

It’s been a weird day today, she was around for years and I miss her loads.

It’s not often that I use this blog to discuss things that are hard emotionally to discuss, but she rocked!

I have great memories of my Nan, and thankfully, I remember her as she was when I was young and wearing a Cub Scout uniform (yes I was in the Cubs)

My Nan looked after me when I was off for school holidays as I went to a private school (yes another confession) and finished earlier for the holidays than my parents, who are both teachers.

I remember spraying the kitchen with Angel delight; my Nan cutting the electric cord to the fire with a kitchen knife and it going bang ‘cos the electric was still on, her coal bunker, the shed and hitting the sheet of asbestos behind it with anything I can find (it wasn’t dangerous then); Granddads chair (I never knew my Granddad, he sadly passed away when I was a baby), a broken wrist, lavender, a black and white TV, plasticine and the slope at 4 Landseer Close.

My Nan never could cope with me using the word piss, but fuck was OK! Never wore a seat belt (she always held it over her shoulder until we were around the corner from my folks (sorry Mum, I let her get away with it) then took it off)

But the years took their toll, and I saw her less and less as she became older and more ill, and in a way I am glad. I am glad that I remember my Nan for the things above, not ill and not the person I loved sick in a hospital bed, but I miss my Nan loads, I always will…….

So this is for you Nan, I bloody miss you, I’ll come and say hi in March, I promise!!

Okay a little back story:

I have a globe lamp out over the patio at the back of my flat.

For the last 2 nights a spider, about 3cms in length, if you go leg tip to leg tip, has been making a web around the lamp. This lamp is always covered and buzzed by mosquitoes and moths. It has been building its web with optimism that the buggers will fly into it (I was backing its fight, ‘cos they get on your nerves after a while)

Just went out to the patio and it is dead, dead as that bloody parrot…. and want to know what it has been killed by? I know what you are thinking a giant of a fanged beast; fangs dripping with green venom, a killer that takes no prisoners….. actually no, no where near. It is a 1.5mm spider, a little cute thing.

Like Kermit the frog with an Uzi!

I am relieved, relieved beyond belief….. it is a small thing that has made me this relieved.

Top Gear (the orginal UK version) is back next week on Monday nights @ 7.30pm. For the last 8 weeks I have been subjected to it’s lesser, more retarded version.

I am a massive Top Gear fan, been watching it since Tiff Needell was one it (prior, a long-time prior to 5th Gear), but the Australian version is a plagiarising, shit version of it.

Stealing story ideas and aiming at hoons and bogans. I know that Top Gear UK does aim a little at the boy-racer and chav brigade, but it is done with the great British style.

To top it all, it was ended with Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie… Oi, Oi OI! WTF!

Ok a little back story:

I have suffered from 2 bites, itchy and swelled up to be a 3 inch x 2 inch red swollen lump.

These were mosquito bites……

Anyway, yesterday one of the girls at work was screeching because there was a spider in her office…. known as a jumping spider. I was like “it’s little, what are you screeching about? It’s not like a it’s a Red Back!”

Anyway, Lisa turned round and said to me that they bite, and the bite inflames to a itchy swelling about 3 inches x 2 inches…..

Well, I have these little bastards in my flat, and I have now realised that I have been bitten (twice) by them.

So I have been bitten by a spider in Australia, least it wasn’t a Red Back

OK, so why are we still talking recession? Why does the media have to keep scare-mongering? The governments are pushing money into the economies of the world like it is peanut M&Ms, so why the talk of recession?

China has put AU$900,000,000,000 into their economy to keep them from hitting the deck, the APAC regions have rallied, so come on Europe, what are you waiting for?

New US President, ASIA is rich, Australia has more money in the ground than any other country….. come on guys, stop fucking around and stop listening to the press, THERE ISN’T A RECESSION, spend spend spend….. we have loads of money.

I am working in a country whose unemployment rate is 2.3%, 3% of the country is unemployable… so we are employing the unemployable!!!

Companies are spending money, hiring people and with the China cash injection it’s looking rosy….

This is my challenge to the UK… Look right, right and then right again. APAC rocks, and in months the US will wake up and realise it too

This is the dawn of a new age… and it feels perky

Come on, stop fucking saying recession and say hope

I presume I am not alone it how I am feeling now; it is finally over. Hopefully the promises of change are true.

Couldn’t be any worse though could it? I had BBC News website running behind my work today, updating automatically as the results came in, and what results.

349 Electoral College votes to 162; now is that what is called a good result? Not only that, Obama also won the populous vote by 7,000,000 votes. He is the true US president, won fair and square, not like the last lying, cheating bastard.

It is finally over, Bush is finished, no longer is the US president a joke, no longer is the US president an idiot, no longer will we be taken into war by lies, lies and more lies.

However, so much has been put on Obama’s shoulders that he will need to impress from Day 1, not an easy task when you look at what he has to start with.

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So I hold my breath waiting, and lets hope Obama is as good as we think hope he is.

Christmas is coming, 7 weeks to Christmas by my count…. however it is not feeling like Christmas

The warm up to Christmas is cold, grey, wet and miserable…. and I miss it!!

It is spring here, I went to the Red Bull Air Race on Saturday and it was hot; 9 layers of suntan lotion hot.

I was at the bus-stop on my way home and saw a woman carrying a fake Christmas tree; with fake snow.

Last year it was 46.6 degrees on boxing day!!!

This is not the weather (as a Brit) you expect; it will be weird.

I am spending Christmas at Andrew’s Mum and Dads; they have been more than welcoming to invite me to their family Christmas…. it will be great to spend my 1st Christmas in Australia with a family

But not sure it will be Christmas as I know it, however….

PS. I am sure that Fairytale of New York will help get me in the mood

I am a massive F1 fan, have watched it (with my family) since I was 7 (27 years; but never seen one live)

I am a fan of Hamilton (why not he is a Brit, a winning Brit); however….. did anyone see one of the McLaren team run down the pit-lane to the Toyota garage to ask them to pull over? Come on the last fucking corner! Really?!?

Massa deserved the championship; he was the better driver this year. But (and this is my opinion) forces beyond his control, controlled

Bring on 2009; Hamilton needs to be put into his place