NED’s World

It is great to have had the good weather this weekend, it hit 33.5 degrees yesterday, 31 today. No wind yesterday so it got very hot; today was windy but muggy with thunderstorms possible tonight.

The weather is great but it comes with it’s own problems

The weather brings out the flies, and they are not like UK flies, they just don’t give up!! They fly into your ears, eyes and mouth and all over your face, flap them away and they just keep coming back, pestering you to the point of despair…. I can now see why a hat with corks would be a good idea

On a sad note, it doesn’t matter where you are in the world, and Australia has a image of being laid back, but when the temperatures get up the wankers come out as was proved yesterday at a beach in Perth when 200-300 pissed wankers started abusing lifesavers on the beach trying to help a teenage girl in trouble…. which ended up with the beach being closed and it looked like it would take 8 hours to clear up all the rubbish left

I have been keeping an eye on what has been going on with the credit crunch (it has been a little softer here in WA)

They have been talking about the end of Capitalism as we know it and, in my limited knowledge, I don’t think it will be a bad thing at all. I know we have been handcuffed by the financial institutions over the last few years (the failed Lehman Brothers outgoing CEO got a bonus of US$300,000,000)

I am waiting with baited breath to see what pans out; but whatever comes (recession or pulling the world from the brink) will change the face of the financial services industry forever (and in my opinion, it will be about fucking time)

It doesn’t effect me too much here in Oz, particularly WA as I don’t have shares, the company I work for is financially safe, I have no house or savings and my superannuation is still very young

But in my opinion, I think it is time that we the people take back the control of our finances, take the banks to task and stand up as one and say “Hang on a fucking minute, IT IS MY MONEY, NOT YOURS!!!

The revolution is coming, Vive Le Revolution!!

Let’s hang on tight and hold on for the ride, it’s going to be rocky but it will end and (in my opinion) will be a great ride, a ride we may never (hopefully) get again in our adult lifetime

PS I am also watching the US elections with rapture, it rocks. The world is changing completely, and it will change. The US are no longer the strongest power in the world, with the strength of economy and everything moving further east, the communist may be right after all

When I got home from work today, there was a note stuck to the security gate to my complex

An aside:

I live in a complex of 30 units, across 3 tiers. 15 on one side, 15 on the other (imagine prisoner cell block H; without so many man hating lesbians). There are 5 complexes on the one block.

Back to the note. The note was written by one of my neighbours at Unit 5; I thought I had better read the note (if it is stuck to the security gate it is either important; or worth putting on www.passiveaggresivenotes.com), anyway, “so what did the note say?” I hear you ask. My neighbour had seen a metre long tiger snake twice in the last week by the security gate! I live at number 1, my front door is 3 metres from that gate

Oh my freaking Christ, the tiger snake is one of the top 10 most venomous snakes in the world, not Australia THE WORLD! (it sits at position 5)

Luckily there is an anti-venom, but left untreated it skills almost half the people it bites

All Notechis species have a very potent neurotoxic venom, which may cause neurotoxic, hemolytic, coagulopathic, and myolytic reactions; paralysis or death can ensue in as short as 30 minutes, but if it occurs it is usually on the timespan of 6-24 hours after the bite.

Great, I can die sitting on my sofa drinking a beer.

Write, after being corected by won off my friends whose a Journalist about the use of a passive aggressive thingy majig, eye decided too send him apoplectic

Sew, eye fault eye wood right the worstest post possible too make him go read inn the face

Eye fault long and hard and decided which woz the bestest way too get an reaction

Then just fault eye wood type this post

Its the bestest most amuzing fing which I of ritten about

Soz Handolio, ain’t couldn’t resist it

Least I didn’t butcher the word ‘Liaise’

Why I hear you all ask, why are you a happy Ned?

I am happy because at 4.30pm today I started to get my 4th tattoo; 2hours 10mins later it was finished

I love getting a tattoo; this one hurt more than the last 3 but it is my favourite. Emma (my tattooist) did a fantastic job; she was a good laugh; a deviant and fantastic to talk too.

So here it is, a picture of my new tattoo (not sure what to get for my 5th)

Summer is on it’s its way. It was 27 degrees today, it was glorious. I went up the shops after work at 6pm and it was warm wearing jeans and a t-shirt, so…

I can’t wait for next week. The weather has just been on and Tuesday is going to be 29 degrees, with Wednesday (unless it changes) tipping into the 30s at 31 degrees.

Oh and sunny too…..

Can’t wait, summer is coming (it is still Spring, Summer does not officially start until December)

On a negative note, in the West Australian this weekend, because the UV index is so high (it will be 9 tomorrow) we have been advised to wear sunscreen even when it is cloudy!!

Well it was the first day of my new job today. As always it was a little clunky, but can see that it will be an exciting role.

Need to be super smart though (yep, going to have to buy a new suit)

And I have my own office as well…. I know very grown up indeed (least it means I can close the door and swear if I need too )

Anyway, keep and eye on the blog and I’ll let you know how it goes

Occasionally marketers and advertising creatives get it wrong, and the poster ad campaign for the all new Honda Jazz here in Perth is a perfect example

There is a poster in the bus shelter in Subiaco for the new car. The strapline is “The all new Honda Jazz comes to the City”; which is fine, the adverts focus is on be quick, economical and a little cheeky… ok, but been done before. So what is the problem?

The problem is that the city backdrop they use is London (not having a dig at London; it’s a great city) but it is 14466 kms (8988 miles) away from that bus shelter. Sydney would’ve been acceptable, fuck even Tokyo, so why choose London

It has the most stereotypical bits of London as well; a black cab; a red bus (with the destination as Stratford; as most people abroad think that William Shakespeare came from Stratford, London not Stratford Upon Avon); Big Ben (time showing 4.50pm), a red phone box (they have all but been removed from London); plus thankfully the cigar and also the London eye to give it a “modern” updated edge to it.

Honda are a Japanese car makers; Perth is a Australian city, so why choose London?!?

So, in my opinion, they got it wrong.

PS. I mentioned the time earlier on Big Ben; there is a TV version of the advert as well, the cars are all zipping past Big Ben in fast-moving traffic… Anyone who has driven in London at 4.50pm (and particularly past the House’s of Parliment) knows it is a traffic jam moving at 5mph; where there is never any zipping

Many of you who have kept up with this blog, and also who know me well, know that this move to Oz was quick, spur of the moment and has been a little wrenched for me (but one of the best things I have done for myself)

I have always known that life isn’t easy, it isn’t given to you on a plate and not an easy thing to keep moving along….. (and it sometimes a lot of times it blows)

My parents when I was growing up (and they are still now) are a mix of liberal hippie, well read, articulate,   and caring wanting me to make the most of my life (I think now (and in the last few years I have done) that they have been proud); they have supported me through everything, I mean everything. The good, the bad and the damn right fucking ugly!!…..and I know they will never (and have never) stopped loving and supporting me

I have always struggled to explain to people the way that I see things; the way that I look at life. I used to use the everything is shit, so least everything is always a plus… but that’s just teen.

I have realised that the Rubix Cube is the next best description for how my life is, and I think a lot of people who are in this generation of iPods; internet and the fact that the World is now a much smaller planet now feel a little jaded; lost and…. (sorry couldn’t think of a third)

I have spent my life moving the sections around to make the pieces fit together right so that the colours match and that the gaps are filled, I have become an expert at it. I have found a good group of friends that makes it all fit together very well (maybe with a blue square in red, and a green in white) , but it worked. It made me feel that all the wholes (yes right spelling before I get shit) that needed feeling where filled

Now I have been thinking about the trip to Oz and I have worked it out… I turned the top section to a diamond and pulled the corner square off; pulled the Rubix Cube apart and I am now putting it back together.

The cube is still the same; still built with the same blocks; but it is bigger. The original cubes are there (thankfully) but with a little more distance and newer cubes (that fit well)

The cube isn’t finished yet (far from it); but it will be finished… it has new cubes in place, old ones getting bigger and (hopefully) getting closer (it is only a 17hr 40min flight to Oz)

So remember next time you go for a beer with one of your friends, then maybe come away thinking that their cube is a little more complete

Sad analogy, but it works….

PS

Never in my life (and I have tried many times) I have never completed a Rubix Cube

I had a great day today, off work as mentioned before and hired a car to go to Ikea to get a few bits (and other reasons)

Managed to get a table and 4 chairs, a shelving unit, new duvet, duvet cover, 4 pillows, a few kitchen bits and some Tupperware for $3

The 2 hotdogs and a drink cost me $460; most expensive I ever bought, why so expensive.

Am I the only one that looks forward to going to Ikea so that I can buy a hotdog with mustard at the end (or 2 in today’s case)?

I was amused driving there and back; I had ordered a car from Red Spot Car Rentals in East Perth; cheap, new cars and NO excess. I had booked a manual but unfortunately when I got there they only had an automatic…

Now I have issues with automatics; I miss the control of changing gears; the (sometimes) clunkiness of the changes and the fun and enjoyment you lose (I must say that in Australia (and probably the same in the US) with long straight roads for kilometres and kilometres having to not gear changes and autopilot (cruise control) would be a blessing).

So I set everything to sport, overdrive and anything else I could do to get the Nissan Tilda to accelerate past 3000 revs (it worked, it hit the 500 revs below the redline and shifted like shit-of-a-shovel)

I have driven manuals for 17 years; and have always had 3 pedals. The left being the clutch, not the brake….. it is amazing how quickly a car comes to a stop when you press the break with the same pressure as you normally do when you press the clutch (only 3 times, twice in a car park; once at 70kph and it squealed to a stop, very quickly).

I won’t say anything about Aussies drving just yet; but really 100kph on a motorway?!? Really? I know it is the speed limit but…… (luckely they didn’t see me doing a little more )