Okay a little back story:
I have a globe lamp out over the patio at the back of my flat.
For the last 2 nights a spider, about 3cms in length, if you go leg tip to leg tip, has been making a web around the lamp. This lamp is always covered and buzzed by mosquitoes and moths. It has been building its web with optimism that the buggers will fly into it (I was backing its fight, ‘cos they get on your nerves after a while)
Just went out to the patio and it is dead, dead as that bloody parrot…. and want to know what it has been killed by? I know what you are thinking a giant of a fanged beast; fangs dripping with green venom, a killer that takes no prisoners….. actually no, no where near. It is a 1.5mm spider, a little cute thing.
Like Kermit the frog with an Uzi!
Ok a little back story:
I have suffered from 2 bites, itchy and swelled up to be a 3 inch x 2 inch red swollen lump.
These were mosquito bites……
Anyway, yesterday one of the girls at work was screeching because there was a spider in her office…. known as a jumping spider. I was like “it’s little, what are you screeching about? It’s not like a it’s a Red Back!”
Anyway, Lisa turned round and said to me that they bite, and the bite inflames to a itchy swelling about 3 inches x 2 inches…..
Well, I have these little bastards in my flat, and I have now realised that I have been bitten (twice) by them.
So I have been bitten by a spider in Australia, least it wasn’t a Red Back 
When I got home from work today, there was a note stuck to the security gate to my complex
An aside:
I live in a complex of 30 units, across 3 tiers. 15 on one side, 15 on the other (imagine prisoner cell block H; without so many man hating lesbians). There are 5 complexes on the one block.
Back to the note. The note was written by one of my neighbours at Unit 5; I thought I had better read the note (if it is stuck to the security gate it is either important; or worth putting on www.passiveaggresivenotes.com), anyway, “so what did the note say?” I hear you ask. My neighbour had seen a metre long tiger snake twice in the last week by the security gate! I live at number 1, my front door is 3 metres from that gate
Oh my freaking Christ, the tiger snake is one of the top 10 most venomous snakes in the world, not Australia THE WORLD! (it sits at position 5)
Luckily there is an anti-venom, but left untreated it skills almost half the people it bites
All Notechis species have a very potent neurotoxic venom, which may cause neurotoxic, hemolytic, coagulopathic, and myolytic reactions; paralysis or death can ensue in as short as 30 minutes, but if it occurs it is usually on the timespan of 6-24 hours after the bite.
Great, I can die sitting on my sofa drinking a beer.